Construction Junction

The Hipster was recently driving his red Jeep Wrangler with the black soft top on a busy road. He was thinking about what lines of William Wordsworth poetry he might quote to female friends in the future when he found himself directly behind a ginormous truck. He couldn't help but notice an orange and black warning sign affixed to the back of it that said: "CONSTRUCTION VEHICLE DO NOT FOLLOW." While most people are stupid, The Hipster is not. Years of playing with Tonka toys taught him how to spot a construction vehicle at an early age. The Hipster does not like being told the obvious. He also thinks stupid people will even realize they are following one, because not many other vehicles on the road pelt yours with dirt, stones and various other debris. For the first time in quite a while, The Hipster, who possesses so much savoir-faire, was at a loss for how to handle a situation. Other vehicles were following him, so stopping immediately may have resulted in serious injury or even death to someone. (Civil lawsuit, anyone?) Switching to another lane was not an option since he was already in the right lane and soon needed to make a right turn. The Hipster was an English major in college and he readily admits Ernest Hemingway's tough, terse sentences have heavily influenced his own writing. If only the statement had read, "TRY NOT TO FOLLOW THIS VEHICLE," The Hipster would not have faced such a dilemma.